Why How To Take Tasteful Nudes Succeeds

Why How To Take Tasteful Nudes Succeeds

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A modern online peril reveals core differences in gender and mating.

Posted February 18, 2016 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma

Key points

- In an anonymous environment, people-especially men-are in all likelihood to activate in additional sexualized behaviors. - It's probable that at least some of the men who send nude photos get a sexual thrill at the idea of an unknown woman seeing their genitalia. - Some males take pleasure in the thought of obtaining exposed images from strangers and incorrectly presume women of all ages carry out, too.

Any woman who has ever ventured into the world of online dating, or any form of contemporary electric communication nearly, will tell you that one of their main complaints is that men routinely send them unsolicited pictures of their genitals. Women understandably complain about this for two main reasons:

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1. They really don't want to see these pics. 2. Guys send the pics without asking, normally without any justification or circumstance. Typically, sending such a picture is one of the first communications women receive from these men.

"Men are gross" is the most common explanation that women have for this. Others may add, "They're gross and stupid. Do they really think I'm going to magically want to have sex with them now, after seeing their penis?"

As silly as this issue might seem to be, it offers some genuine opportunity for insight into the ways that modern technology reveals interesting aspects of sexuality and gender.

This definitely appears to be more of a male thing. Both men and girls happen to be transmitting nudes of themselves to individuals they encounter on line frequently, but women tend to wait until asked. That distinction might simply be an expression of gender differences in mating and dating strategies. At least, in terms of sending the pictures unrequested. The known fact is, ladies are told that being sexually bold in such a manner is shameful and makes them a slut.

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Why men send women nude photos

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There really aren't any research studies looking at this question, and thus most we can carry out best right now will be speculate, though with some informed psychological wisdom:

- It's most likely that this behavior represents an aspect of men's misperception of female sexual interest. So, the "shock value" is a way for men to get attention. - Men fear sexual rejection, and by sending pics of their genitalia, they are having "pre-approval almost. " Thwill be way, they receive the likelihood of rejection out of the method earlier, so they don't have to worry about being rejected or shamed once they drop their pants on a real date. - It's probable that thereforeme of this connects to the fact that in an anonymous environment, people, men especially, are likely to engage in more sexualized behaviors. In Ohio, one man was dubbed “The Naked Photographer” because he would jump out and expose his penis to women, and take a photo of their reaction. Psychological research has demonstrated that in anonymous environments, both men and women engage in casual sexual behaviors fairly, including exhibitionism. It might end up being an element of exhibitionism, and some of these adult men almost certainly masturbate as a component of the action, imagining that woman seeing the picture they sent. This is a key tenet behind the Pick-Up Artist strategies, where men are encouraged to be impulsive and bold. - It's probable that at least some of these men receive a sexual thrill at the idea of an unknown woman seeing their genitalia. These are likely the same men that used to be in trenchcoats on street corners. In this situation, men really are hoping and thinking that you'll be turned on and send them a pic in response. - Masculine mating techniques contain often incorporated an aspect of "boldness," where men who are bold and brash sometimes garner female attention they wouldn't otherwise receive if they were nice and polite. The known fact that a female rejects them for it is not salient because, for many such adult males, it will be the woman's disgust and rejection that is actually part of the turn-on. Men love the basic idea of receiving such pictures from strangers, and they assume girls too carry out. Men notoriously mwill beperceive women's sexual interest in them and project their own sexual interests and desires onto women. And negative attention is becometter than no attention at all. When he was caught, he later admitted that he would masturbate to the pictures of the women’s reactions. Famous French philosopher Jean Jacques Rousseau used to hang his naked buttocks out of alleyways, hoping that some women passersby would spank him for being such a naughty boy.

Men project their own desires onto women

It's important to note that within gay male circles, this behavior is very common, and will be not viewed as a problem. But, for some good reason, whether biology, psychology, or social suppression of female sexuality, women don't enjoy this the way men do. In fact, countless men happen to be content to get many of these pictures and respond inside gentle usually. That's crucial because it offers some confirmation that many men want to receive such pics, and happen to be genuinely hoping their recipient will delight in it and become changed on.

In a clever twist, one woman started sending men pics of female genitals. So, again, we possess proof that adult men are usually giving many of these photographs because they consider others shall like them, as much as they do. She has been shocked that overwhelmingly, men loved it, found her boldness both sexy and fun, and wanted to meet her.

Smartphones, texting, email, and online dating are the current vehicle for this behavior and sexual dynamic, but let's not pretend that this is a new will besue. The underlying sex process and character include been with us always. One issue is that men just aren't good at hearing, or responding to, "No." I'm definitely not excusing that. But thwill be same dynamic, that guys consider ladies will be as fired up as they are usually sexually, will be getting in the way of men hearing the "No, we don't want to see that!"

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Risks and consequences

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There are men who've gone to jail and been put on sex offender registries for sending such pictures to persons they didn't know, who turned out to be underage. This habit will be in some cases many even more considerable than we may understand.

Many women are genuinely bothered by receiving such pictures and view it as an unwelcome intrusion. Some feminist writers have described this as a form of sexual assault, and a real approach in which men assert the prominence of their sex over that of ladies. Such pictures can be a form of sexual harassment when they occur in a work/professional environment.

I empathize with the women who are offended and grossed out at receiving such images. We wonder if women have as strong a reaction in societies where intersex nudity is common in bathing and beaches? Unfortunately, safety on the internet is hard to come by. Women, and all social people, should be able to possess some safe spaces. I do think that this is a particular issue in our society, where nudity is sexualized and taboo.

The need for dialogue

Ultimately, the answer here lies in greater dialogue with men and women over what they actually want in sexual communications. For instance, could women say ever, "Look, I probably would like to see your penis pic, but I'd like to be able to ask for it..."? The shaming and suppression of female sexuality is part of the presssing issue here, as men don't feel they understand what woadult men actually want sexually, and women don't sense they can express it safely. This might reach some of these men, those who honestly carry out not really recognize some erectile variations. But, this requires women to have the safety to get honest about their sexual interests.

Unfortunately, I don't think such dialogue is happening, or probable appropriate nowadays still. Many women have tried attacking such men, shaming and flaming them, both online and in personal communications. They want men to understand that such behaviors are rude, and unacceptable, and should stop simply. Individuals who are generally grossed and offended over in such pictures would like them banned. But such strategies probably won't work.

Shaming doesn't work

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A tenet of psychology is that negative reinforcement will be still reinforcement. A new better strategy is to ignore it. I realize that likely looks unsatwill befying. Some satisfaction is felt by them that their penis generated this robust reaction. But if we remove as much of the support, including negative attention, various of these males may watch this actions due to unrewarding ultimately. So, shaming, banning, and flaming strategies are unlikely to be successful. The more uproar, outrage, and disgust that such pics get, the more powerful some men feel.

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It's not personal

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It's important that women, and men, understand that this behavior, possibly when it comes across as being undesirable and irritating, is not personal. This definitely dynamic, silly as it can be, will be not evidence that guys happen to be disgusting ladies and perverts will be prudes. It's not actually about you, the person receiving these pics. This behavior reveals some core differences between men's and women's sexual man or womanalities, and that men need to work harder at understanding woadult men's actual bedsexual interests and motivations.

The more we engage in open dialogue about these issues and sexual motivations and miscommunications, the better.

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David J. Ley, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologwill bet and the author of Insatiable Wives, Women Who Stray and The Men Who Love Them.

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